The God Hates Tornadoes Creed


I believe God hates the tornado,
    fruit of Lucifer,
    and of the juxtaposition of buoyancy and shear.

The tornado was conceived of the supercell,
    born of the baroclinic zone,
    suffered under the RFD,
    was occluded, roped out, and was dissipated.

It descended into turbulence.

With the next mesocyclone it arose again from the dead.

It descended from the clouds
    and spins across the almighty land,
    whence it shall come to judge the trailer parks and the fields.

I believe in the Tornado, the holy National Weather Service,
    the communion in storm shelters,
    the forgiveness of Fujita,
    the resurrection of demolished homes,
    and vorticity everlasting.

Amen.